first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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