If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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