Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
