I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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