What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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