I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
