my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize