I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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