I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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