Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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