I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
