OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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