I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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