my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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