I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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