I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We're too hungover to prance.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize