Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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