there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
