how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
