How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
