Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
