If i come over, it means nothing
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
