well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize