I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
