Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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