were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
