Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
