i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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