Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
