drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Found the puke drawer
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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