what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Floor bacon is actually really good
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
