she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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