true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
