I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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