i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
