So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
