i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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