I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
