Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
