if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
