Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
