you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
