some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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