But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
