I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
