I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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