We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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