i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
