If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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