Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
