he puts the penis in happiness.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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