just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
