did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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