you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize