I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
