dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
