Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
