I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
