She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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