Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
