I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
