So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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