You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize