its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
