my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize