After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
