cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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