Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
