Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
