Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
