he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
there was a trapeze. enough said
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
