I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm having to shit out rocks
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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