i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
