i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
