Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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